Uncle

Bias is a surly beyotch.

When I first made this Patrones 252-30 skirt two years ago, It was too big and too long. When I made it this time, I sliced at the hip, and took out four inches of length (which brought a lot of the bias fullness up to my hips). I did not take two inches out of the waist thinking that would make up for any weight gain and give me room to wiggle since the first skirt still fits. But, and this is a BIG but, I stabilised the waistline with twill tape this time. I did not the first time. So, the bias waist (the first time) grew — making it too big. This time, it did not grow,  making it the original size which is apparently too small by about four inches. Which means that in order for the skirt to fit this time, the waist line sat just under my breasts.

SOB!!

Call Carolyn on the way to see Inception (Great movie. Didn’t understand half of it.) and she suggested cutting down the waistband by no more than one inch. Brilliant. I do it.

The FREAKING skirt was now at last eight inches too big!!! Stupid beyotch bias.

I take in and take in — six inches give or take. Finally, it fits!  But, it’s so stinking full now at the hips. Like all the width of the skirt is now at my waist / hip. And, the bias was hanging funky because of all the alterations. I put the zipper in twice because of a rookie mistake.  One side seam is longer than the other. Whatever. I’m almost done. I put on the skirt. It fits! I can breathe! Then, the zipperhead pops off. SOB!

Uncle. I give up. I’m not going to re-insert a zipper for the third time in a yellow marked, wonky drape,  skirt that makes m look like a wedding cake topper.

I love this pattern, but I’m done. It’s time for  glass of wine and to pick another project.

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32 thoughts on “Uncle

  1. There is something oddly satisfying about taking a disastrous project and throwing it in the trash. It’s kind of like, “Take that you heinous project! You will NOT mock me anymore! Good bye and good riddance!” The trick is knowing when to throw in the towel before you get your butt kicked. Sigh…..

    • I agree wholeheartedly but to really teach the disastrous project who is boss, I toss something gross on top of it (in the trash can). Just in case I’m tempted to dig it back out and try again.

  2. Yup, sounds like time for wine. And good for you for tossing it in the trash. My failures stay in the UFO pile, waiting for god-knows-what to happen.

  3. Too Too Bad. I am sorry. But it deserves it. All those things going wrong? It was conspiring against you. Take THAT, bias skirt!

  4. So sorry that your skirt did not work out. I really like the color combination.

    I can relate though. Thursday, I finally had occasion to wear a dress that I had made recently. I was so proud. I had made a few adjustments and it fit perfectly. I glimpsed myself in the mirror and noticed the back of the neck jutted out 3 inches from my back. I have no clue.

  5. Good for you!!! We all have wadders from time to time and the best place for them is the trash. A new project planning session accompanied by a glass or two of wine sounds perfect!

  6. Good for you! I hit a wadder yesterday evening, I am totally feeling you on the hopeless-and-ultimately-futile attempts to alter to fit.

  7. Sometimes it’s just time throw it in the trash and call it quits. It happens to the best of us and I certainly know the feeling well.

  8. It’s ok, there will be many other projects that will treat you well. Exorcise this one and move on.

    Oh yeah and enjoy that tasty glass of wine, too.

  9. Enjoy your wine as I misquote Tennyson:

    I hold it true, whate’er befall;
    I feel it, when I sorrow most;
    ‘Tis better to have sewn and lost
    Than never to have sewn at all.

  10. Oh….I’m sooooo sorry this didn’t work out for you! Make something quick and easy to cleanse the sewing palette because China is getting closer and closer!

  11. I am so sorry that your skirt didn’t work out. It gives me hope though, it wasn’t until I started reading sewing blogs that I realized that it happens to other people. I thought it was only me and I felt like such a failure. Thank you for posting about it.

  12. The last time I had this much problems with a project I ended up taking my scissors to it in a mad rage. I did feel satisfied and bit less stressed, then i had to leave home the next day re-purchase more fabric and do a completely different top because the top was a part of a suit for a final project

  13. No advice on the skirt, but WalMart in Eldersburg (Librty Road, Carroll County) has the pink baskets you’re looking for. $3. I was on my way out of the store with DH or I’d have picked it uo for you.

  14. Real frustrating. Sewing time is valuable. I’ve sewn one dress pattern four times and ironically on number four, that’s when I ran into problems — when similarly, I made changes! Good you moved on to something new.

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  16. I’m sooo sorry for you. We all have these days when everything goes wrong. The next project will surely turn out great as usual!

  17. Bummer, I really like that skirt. I hate it when things don’t cooperate. I am sure your next one will be better, just lay down the law first

  18. Sigh. That is such a bummer. It was a great skirt, and I loved the orange touches.
    If you needed only 2″, probably you’d have done fine with just taking out the twill tape. You probably had the 2″ to begin with, we’re just used to tightening things up around tape. And in nay case just taking it out would have stretched it a bit, most likely enough.

    But what this says really is that when things go wrong it’s important to stop and think, give it a rest. Often I wake up in the morning with the solution to a problem right there. But we’re too much in a hurry, we want to wear the skirt today!!!, we want it done done done :-). Understand I’m not casting the first stone here, not at all..

  19. It happens to everyone – just shake it off and make a quick t-shirt or something else that’s easy and get right back on the horse. Bias is tricky stuff

  20. I know bias seems like The Devil but it really isn’t – I swear! Yes, it stretches but, when it comes to a waistline, you can also shrink it back quite easily.

  21. Hi there, I’m the lady that came up to you at the movie in Owings Mills on Saturday. My husband and I saw Grownups…laughed our pants off!

  22. I am so sorry to laugh at your misery, but this is the funniest post I have read in quite a while!!
    It is too bad you could not get the skirt to work as it was really cute.

  23. I have never been able to get a bias garment to look good on myself. I did learn one thing though, through Sandra Betzina. If the straight falls over the tummy, your tummy will look flatter and your hips wider. If the straight falls over the hips, they will look narrower and the tummy more round. It is true. Try turning the skirt around and see what happens.

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