“I Am At Peace”

There are many things I want to tell you about my mom. About how she bought me my first sewing machine. How she avidly read my blog and encouraged my writing. How I called her at least once a day. How she remembered information about my friends and would ask about them individually.  There’s the way she would call me from Korea in the middle of the night to ask me how to double space her documents in Word. Or, wake me up on church morning to do her makeup or curl her hair. There’s also that point in my life when she started seeking my advice — while continuing to give hers.

But, I am so very afraid of not being able to fully capture how remarkable she is and how very much I will miss her that I hesitate to say more than, she was my best friend.

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Thanksgiving, 2011

We lost her this week and my heart is literally broken. I’ve posted her obituary here. My mom, ever the planner, wrote the bulk of it herself.

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April 2011

This time last year, we were talking about her visiting this Christmas to go to the seasonal decorations at the White House. My mom always said, “Tomorrow isn’t promised to you.” She was right.

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New South Wales, Australia

When  she told me her diagnosis, I broke down in hysterical tears and told her how much I loved her. She told me she accepted what would come next and  said, “I am at peace.”

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My friends, time is a precious gift. I am so thankful I could say good bye.

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253 thoughts on ““I Am At Peace”

  1. My heart breaks for you. I’ve always thought she was so elegant and poised when you’ve posted pictures of her, and I’ve been envious of the beautiful relationship the two of you have. I’m glad that she was able to see you married and be part of the ceremony. She’s right, tomorrow isn’t promised, but boy she sure put a lot into each today, didn’t she? My deepest condolences, the world is a lesser place for her passing.

    • I couldn’t have said it better myself, Colleen. My heart is heavy for your sorrow. Know that I’m sending you hugs right now.

  2. I’m so sorry to read of your mother’s death. Having read your blog the last few years, I feel that I’ve come to know you a little bit. Strength. Fortitude.

  3. I am so sorry. I can only imagine how devastated I would be to lose my mom. I hope the memories that stay most vivid of her are all the happy times and the love you two obviously had for each other.

  4. Colleen P. sure is wise. What a remarkable woman, your Mom. We all could learn a lot from “The Colonel” about living life — and truly loving one’s loved ones. I’m so sorry, Renee. I’ve been in tears ever since I heard. I know the tremendous hole this leaves in your life, and I pray that over time, you will be just at much at peace as she was. Always your friend…

  5. What an incredible woman your mother was and what a wonderful legacy to leave behind. May your memories bring you comfort and peace as you celebrate The Colonel’s life.

  6. Beautiful words for a beautiful woman. I lost my mom to breast cancer in 2006 after she battled for over 8 years. She taught me to sew, and we too were closely connected like you were to your mom. I still think about her every day. It took me a long time to get to happiness whenever I thought about her after she died (instead of sadness and despair at my loss), but I now only recall happy memories and smile when I think of my mom–so thankful to have been her daughter. Hugs!

  7. I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my mom just after I had graduated college which is now about 25 years now. I wish everyday that she had lived to see my first ultrasound and to hold my hand in the delivery room. I wish she could have seen my son and daughter and that they could have known their grandmother. I wish that she could have told me everything she had learned from raising me and my brothers. Your mother will always be part of you and will always be with you even if not physically.

  8. My thoughts, prayers and condolences are with you through this very trying time. I hope that in time, the loss will become somewhat bearable. You have wonderful memories and that is most important. Continue to celebrate her life!

  9. Oh, my honey dear. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for letting us share this time of mourning with you. It won’t make your sorrow any lighter, but we will share it with you anyway. I’m so glad you got to tell her goodby — that is a gift not given to each of us.

  10. I’m so sorry. But I’m glad you realized — always realized — how important she was to you, and that she knew how much she was loved. May your memories of her, and of being with her, guide you always.

  11. I’m so glad you got to say goodbye, that you at least had these last few wonderful moments and memories with her. My heart is so heavy for you. Just know you have your own personal angel protecting you.

  12. I’ve been following your blog for years, she sounds wonderful. Sincere condolences to you and your family,

  13. I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom — and so glad she was able to attend your wedding. Having just lost Michael’s Mom this summer, I have a sense of what it means to lose someone so close. Hang in there — a lot of love and support coming your way!

  14. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like an amazing soul who approached life the way we all should.

  15. Oh, Renee, I’m so, so sorry. Your mom sounds like an amazing woman, and it seems like there’s more than a little of her in you. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers.

  16. My heart breaks for you. I know what it is like to lose your mom who is also your best friend. After reading your Mom’s obituary, I wish I’d had the chance to meet her. Talk about a woman who lived life to the fullest. Being at peace at the end if your life is a gift. What a blessing for her, and for you and your family. Peace.

  17. Gosh, Renee, my heart kept breaking as I read the obituary. :(
    Your mother truely is a Gem. And the world is a better place for her having lived in it.
    Your pain at having lost her must be huge. I wish I could make you feel a little better, Renee.
    My mother died of breast cancer in 2009. Now years later, the pain does come back from time to time, but what remains are the good memories and her legacy. I wish the same for you – that you can start to feel Gem’s warm legacy for you very soon. (But that will take time and healing.) You will meet her again, when your time comes. And having learnt so much about your mother now, I hope that I get to meet the very remarkable and inspiring Gem, too.
    Lots of good thoughts, strength and prayers for you and your loved ones!

  18. Hi Renee,

    I sent you a Facebook message, but it went to your “other” message folder because we are not FB friends.

    I know there are no words… because I’ve been there already. Both my parents are gone.

    I will pray for your mom and for you and your family. Your mom is safe now, in God’s arms, nothing can harm her.

    My thoughts, prayers and tears are with you.

    Mel Heimo Meister Deltona, Florida

  19. No words can express how deeply sorry I am for your loss. How blessed you are to have such beautiful person in your life and such an angel has helped you become the beautiful person you are. Prayers for peace and strength for you and your wonderful family.

  20. What an amazing life your mom experienced! An inspiration to all of us. I knew she was pretty great just by reading your blog – she raised a wonderful daughter.

  21. I am so, so sorry to read this. The love between you comes across so beautifully in this post. So glad you were able to have her at your wedding, and cyber hugs for you and yours.

  22. My deepest condolences, Renee. There are few words to offer, since your pain is so deep & personal. My father died of a sudden & massive heart attack on 3/27 & it’s only now becoming easier to breathe. I don’t expect it to be any different for you, but I want you to know that you & yours are in my thoughts & that I hope that you’re able to find peace in your memories of her.

  23. Your mother was an amazing woman, I read her obituary and marveled that anyone could write their own. Your loss is the last stage of growing up and it isn’t any easier than the other major stages of growing up.

    Don’t think you are odd if you find yourself thinking about your mom everyday for years — I did and had it not been for a friend telling me it would happen I might have thought I wasn’t dealing with the loss in a healthy manner. Your mom played a part in your life up to this point, and will continue in your daily thoughts for years to come. Embrace the memories.

  24. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mother is the first person to love you, and it can seem unbearable to be without her. I take comfort in knowing that my mother is always with me, particularly when I do good things.I hope you can find the same comfort.

  25. I follow your blog and am very sorry for the loss of your mother. My prayer for you and your family is that you are strengthened during this time of mourning. God always knows best.

  26. I’m so sorry. I’m fumbling for words that could do some good, but of course there aren’t any. I’m sorry. I hope you have lots of loving people around you to mourn with you.

  27. My heart truly breaks for you. I feel a personal loss just through my online connection I experienced with your Mom through your blog. She was a blessed woman that impacted any life she encountered. I know in my heart of hearts, that she is sitting at the thrown of grace, at peace and with joy.

  28. Beautiful words to pay tribute to your mother. My condolences on your loss and words fail me. My thoughts are with you. Sigrid

  29. Renee, you already know I worked with your mom in Grafenwoehr, teaching prenatal classes. She was a joy to teach with, her genuine concern for those folks always shone through. She cared deeply about the soldiers there, especially the young and not-so-well-off ones. If I ever saw a problem and brought it to her, she dealt with it in a kind, quick, and efficient fashion. She very quietly gave clothing and supplies to new moms, as well as her assistance and counsel. I know she made lots of home visits. I thought the world of her and was sorry we didn’t meet up again. You know she went directly to God—she was a fundamentally good person. I’m very sad that that light has gone out. Please accept my deepest sympathies.

  30. I am so so sorry for your loss. I hope that the deep love you had for each other, and the beautiful memories of a life lived so fully and so compassionately, will give you strength to get through these difficult days.

  31. I’m so sorry for your loss. I am glad that you were able to say good-bye, although I can imagine it is still very painful. You and your family will be in my prayers.

  32. So very sorry for you loss. You have wonderful memories of a wonderful Mother. She will always be with you.

  33. I am so sorry for your loss Renee, I think it is no coincidence that you found the love of your new husband just as you were about to lose your beloved Mum, your mum can never be replaced but you now have someone loving beside you to help you through. My mum died of Alzheimer’s in 2009 and I can honestly say not a day goes by without me missing her, but when you have had a wonderful mother like you (and thank God lots of us) had you will find all the strength she gave you over the years will help you through…

  34. Renee, I am in tears for you. I can only imagine what such a close relationship with one’s mother must feel like. What a blessing for you to have such a special bond with her. I’m so very sorry for you and your family.

    • esta con Dios ahora, y siempre en tu corazon. atesora todos los momentos que tuvistes con ella, son especiales. dios te bendiga y te de fortaleza.
      p.d. yo perdi la mia hace 2 yrs. y siempre esta en mi corazon
      cuidate

      • (Translation)
        She is with God now and always in your heart. Treasure the moments you had with her, they are special. God bless you and give you strength. I lost my mother 2 years ago and she is always in my heart. Take care

  35. Dear Miss Celie,

    I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful mama. Please know that one of the many reasons that you will be ok is that you are part of her. You are one of the most clear examples of her love.

    The passing of my own mama still feels so surreal to me. Since her passing I know more than ever that death is not an end, but a continuation. Trying to wrap my head around her physical absence has been hard, but there is no doubt in my mind that she is always with me, my brother, and my sister.

    Please know that I am thinking of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. Again if there is anything I can do, please feel free to contact me.

    Sincerely,
    Adriana

  36. Beautiful tribute. An amazing person who led an inspirational life. I am so sorry for your loss.

  37. I am so sorry for your loss. If you have a good relationship with your mother, there is no other loss like it. I lost my mother pretty young, 37 years ago yesterday. I still miss her so much. I want to call her, I want to share things with her, I want her counsel. I console myself, knowing that she is still with me, in my heart always. I wish there was something that I could say to ease your loss, but there is nothing. I do know that you were lucky to have her, and that her love with always guide you. Love and hugs to you, Renee.

  38. Oh, honey. I am so sorry. It’s hard to sum a person up in words, but your heart is filling in the blanks that words don’t cover. It’s a lovely post. Take care of yourself.

  39. Oh Renee, I am so sorry for you and your family. I can only imagine your pain. But what a wonderful relationship you had with your mom. Something for you to always treasure. My prayers are with you at this very difficult time.

  40. So sorry for your loss, but so happy you have so many wonderful memories. I’m sure you know that she lives inside of you.

  41. I’m so sorry for your loss. It is devastating to lose someone you love so much. Best thoughts and prayers for you.

  42. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother eight years ago and still think of her. You are so lucky to have had a chance to say goodbye and tell her you loved her and would miss her while she was still there to hear it. She’ sounds like a remarkable woman with a remarkable daughter.

    Theresa in Tucson

  43. My heart aches for you in the loss of your beautiful mother. Peace and blessings to you and your family.

  44. What a beautiful, special woman, Renee. It radiates from her pictures. I am so sorry for your loss.

  45. Ah, Renee, I’m so sorry. I’m sure “remarkable” doesn’t even begin to capture the kind of woman and mother she was. Hugs to you and your family.

  46. Oh no. I’m so sorry- she sounds so incredible, and I’m so sorry for you loss. I loved seeing pictures of her & the stories that popped up on here- your trips to Panama, the story about using old army blankets on the ironing board…. lots of hugs to your whole family.

  47. Renee, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I think of you and your family often, and will continue to send strength and healing thoughts through the coming weeks.

  48. Renee, I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother. A Mother is truly one’s best friend. Your Mother and the beautiful memories that you have of her will always be in your heart. Peace be still, as God is with you.

  49. Cidell, I am so very sorry for your loss. Your mother had an amazing journey and it touches my heart that you were able to share so much of it with her. Thinking of your and praying for God to continue to comfort you.

  50. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and more than a little heartbroken over the pain you must be feeling. My thoughts are with you.

    Sent from my iPhone

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  51. My heart aches for you. Your love for your Mom showed so strongly that I think we all feel like we knew her. You’re in my prayers.

  52. My deepest condolences. I feel lucky to have gotten to know her through your blog, what a special relationship you had.

  53. When my mom had her heart attack and stroke and was in the hospital and we all thought we’d lose her that night (which we didn’t actually – she lived on another hellish year and developed dementia very quickly), she looked up at me at one point and said, “You know, we had a lot of fun, didn’t we?” And I had to tell her that yes, we had an amazing amount of fun. She was not a perfect person; she had her faults. Her idea of teaching me to sew was to sit me down at the sewing machine at the age of 11 with two pieces of fabric and the instruction, “See, just sew it down along that edge – match it up with the line on the footplate. When you’re done, come and find me.” But we did have a lot of fun and all of those Scrabble games and times at the beach and the dresses she made me and so on are in my memory and I miss her terribly even though it’s been 7 years since she escaped what had become for her a hellish, dementia, ‘the aliens are coming through the wall and why are you trying to poison me?” existence. It’s going to hurt, Renee — but remember her tenderly.

  54. Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother when I was 20, I’ve been without her longer than I had her. However, I think of her often, especially since she was the sewist in the family. I do miss the fact that there is so much that we could share now but I just think that she is a part of me and enjoying the fact that I came back around to needing fabric, patterns, and that spark of creativity back in my life. Her memory inspires me, as it is clear that your mother’s memories inspire you. How lovely that she was able to be present to see that you would have someone to care for and someone to care for you. She will be with you whenever you need her, just think of her.

  55. Sitting in the library and crying now. This was beautiful to read – your mom sounds like she was an amazing woman, with a full and wonderful life. And she was so beautiful and elegant! I see so much of her in you (well, what I can see from pictures :)). I am so sorry for your loss, Renee. I’m so glad she was able to be there for your wedding, and that you had the chance to say goodbye ♥

  56. Sweetie, my heart breaks for you! My mom has been gone for then years and I still miss her terribly. She raised a fabulous daughter and you will be her legacy. She picked the same week to leave as a great hero, Nelson Mandela, wonder if she’ll meet him. We’re all praying for you.

  57. I’m so sorry for your loss, I will keep you in my prayers. I wish blessing and comfort to you and your family.

  58. Oh Renee, I am so, so sorry to hear this. I have been following your blog just a short while – since the engagement I think, so have not gotten to see all the photos of your beautiful Mom. The wedding photo seems to show us just how much love you two shared. I read the obituary and it sounds like she was truly a remarkable woman who accomplished whatever she set her mind to, and that she was someone anyone would have been proud to call friend (or Mom). I lost my beloved Mom in 1987 to lung cancer and still miss her profoundly, but not as painfully. Eventually the memories sooth the pain and we are left with the warmth that only having loved someone can bring. I send understanding and gentle hugs. God bless you at this difficult time.

  59. So sorry to hear of your loss. I wish you comfort in family and friends and joy in your memories of your mother.

  60. Oh I am so very, very sorry for your loss and the pain. No words can make that better. But I know you will remember all the love and fun and joy she brought into your life (and you into hers) and perhaps that will help. She was an amazing woman. You were very lucky to have had each other.

  61. Renee, this gave me the chills. When I read about your mom’s illness I was so saddened, my heart broke for you and your family. I even stopped reading regularly because I was afraid to come here one day and read just this news. Please accept my deepest sympathy. Your mom had my name too, at least that is what I am called back home in Ja.
    But you know what, your mom and dad gave us you and we should all be thankful for that.
    May she shine down on us all with her awesomeness!

  62. What an amazing mom to have… What a lucky girl you are! I hope you will find hope and strength along with your family knowing she is at peace. Her love will always be with you.

  63. God bless you and your family. What an accomplished woman your mother was. I love the pictures of her in military uniform. Very sharp! God knows and sees all things and He is everywhere. May you and your family find comfort in Him now and always. Take care.

  64. Renee, I am so sorry for your loss. Your mother lived a wonderful life and you are a testament to that life. Take the time you need to grieve. Be kind and gentle to yourself during this time. I pray that in time memories of your mother’s love will ease some of the pain of your loss. Melodye

  65. I’m so sorry for your loss Cidell. I am pleased for you to have had her see you get married and be part of it. I am not on FB so I can’t see the obituary but I am sure it is beautiful by what others say. My thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

  66. I am so sorry for you loss. Thank you for sharing your mother’s obituary, she was a wonderful woman and touched many lives.

  67. Oh, Cidell, I am so sorry to hear this. So sorry for your horrible loss. But your tribute to your mother is beautiful and it seems you are at peace, on some level, too. I’m sending you many positive thoughts and prayers.

  68. Your mom was beautiful. What a blessing that you two were so close and loved each other so well, which comes across clearly in your lovely tribute. I’m glad that you did have time to say good-bye.

  69. I am so sad that your beautiful mum isn’t with you as you embark on this new stage of your life. I I’m sure it was a great comfort to you and your mother that you got to share your special day together.

  70. Oh, I am so very very sorry for your loss. Losing your mother is devastatingly hard. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t be surprised if the next year is kind of a blur. Sending loving thoughts to you and your new hubby.

  71. My prayers are with you and your family. I wish I could think of something especially helpful to say but I remember that when my mom died what I appreciated was the effort people made to acknowledge my loss. How wonderful to see the number of people who care about you and are offering support. I hope this outpouring does help.

  72. Your words about your mother are beautiful and touching. I struggle to find adequate words to express my thoughts, but I’m so sorry for your loss. I read her obituary too and she seemed to be a lovely and interesting woman who really made a difference.

  73. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy and condolences. Your mother was truly a beautiful woman and the picture of the two of you on your wedding day is just lovely. Thank you for the reminder that all we can count on is this moment. I wish you peace and comfort. Susan

  74. Your Mother was a remarkable woman with selfless vision and concern for others- especially those in greatest need. This is such a warm and loving tribute to her. I am sorry for your loss and will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

  75. I’m so very sorry for you loss. Through your posts your mom always came across as a really remarkable and vibrant person. It sounds as though she led a life worth living and I can see how her loss would be so incredibly devastating. However, it’s really wonderful that she was able to be there for your wedding and that you were blessed with the type of mother she was. I’m also glad you now have a companion to help see you through this most difficult time. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

  76. I’m so sorry for your loss. I remember mentally thanking your mom, when she encouraged you to blog about your dating adventures rather than tell her on the phone (as I’m sure are you aware, a lot of us benefited). I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts–it sounds like the Colonel was a lovely and highly accomplished woman.

  77. Renee, there is something very special about your mum that is so evident from your words, the photos and tributes on this page. So pleased she was there for your wedding and that you have so many fond memories to hold close. Take care.

  78. As a reader for several years I’ve enjoyed getting to know your mother through your eyes. She seemed like a very special person. Thanks for sharing her with us. So sorry for your loss.

  79. Please accept my condolences for the loss of your mother. She was a truly accomplished woman and lived a great life.

  80. I’ve never met any of you but live your life through your blog. My thoughts are with you and your family – your mum is a brave and inspiration lady xx

  81. What an amazing woman. How inspiring to read her story this morning, before my day’s work. Thank you for sharing the story of her life with us, giving us all perspective on our own lives. And what matters.
    “Leave this earth a better place.”
    “Tomorrow isn’t promised to you.”
    You and your family will be in my thoughts today.

  82. I’ve just read the obituary, and wow, your mother was a truly amazing and inspirational person. How wonderful that she touched so many lives. My thoughts are with you and your family and friends.

  83. My deepest sympathies to you and your family, Renee. Thank you for sharing your mother’s extraordinary and inspirational life story – she truly exemplified a life well lived.

  84. Words are really inadequate but I am very sorry for your loss. This was a beautiful and very moving post and although your time together was too short you are lucky to have had a wonderful relationship with each other. That photo from your wedding is particularly lovely.xx

  85. I’m so sorry for your loss. What brave and wise words your mom had. I’m praying for you and your family.

  86. In moments like these I always feel like I have nothing helpful to say, so I’ll take a cue from Job’s friends the one time in Job when they were actually useful and just sit with you in your pain and say little. What a beautiful amazing woman. That we all could be remembered with such thoughtful words. I’m so glad she was able to be with you for your wedding. I am praying for you.

  87. I’m so sorry, Renee. Your post has me in tears. I can’t imagine a more wonderful tribute to your mother than the loving daughter you clearly are.

  88. Oh Renee, my heart aches for you and I don’t even know you, nor you me. I am so sorry for your loss.

  89. Renee, I am sitting here crying over the loss of your mother. I send you my deepest, deepest sympathies.

  90. I was moved to tears reading her obituary. She was a very special person; how lucky you are to have been her daughter.

  91. I am so sorry for your loss, your mother was so beautiful and her personality shone out from all the gorgeous pictures you posted of her. I am so glad she and you were able to be together at your wedding, and I wish you and your family peace and healing.

  92. My heart is broken with yours. Thank you so much for sharing a bit of your mom with all of us. Your words speak volumes. I am so glad you had the time to say good bye as well. I hope after reading this post, we all remember to take more time to show our loved ones how much we care about them and how important they are to us. I know you will miss your mom more than anyone can put into words, but I am so thankful she was at peace.

  93. Oh Renee, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve cried so many tears for my former president and was just not expecting this. You’ve represented her so very well. Please accept my deepest condolences.
    Linda

  94. So sorry to hear about your mother’s death. She sounds like she was an incredible lady who raised an incredible daughter. My heart goes out to you and I pray that the sweet memory of your mother will bring you peace during your time of loss.

  95. Prayers of comfort for you and your family. My mom has been gone 25+ years and I still miss her. I’m so glad your mom was able to attend your wedding.

  96. Your mother sounds like she was an amazing person. I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Take care.

  97. Renee, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. What a wonderful person she was. Even though she is not physically here any longer, she will always be with you.

  98. As a quiet reader of your blog for year, I am so sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. May you feel God’s loving arms around you in the weeks ahead.

  99. So sorry, Renee… I know you are happy she was able to be there to share the wedding activities with you.

  100. So very, very sorry. It is heartbreaking .. the swiftness is stunning. Your darling Mom is at home with God and His Angels and all the peace she knew awaited her. That is a gift, that peace. How blessed for you, for the peace you will always have, that your perfectly beautiful wedding and happiness happened in perfect time and filled her heart with joy. You were so wise. God be with you and your family and all who loved her. You and she were certainly blessed with your bond with each other, and the embrace of that lasting
    love and her special spirit will be with you every day .. through the teary times and when they finally, eventually begin to dry in time .. until you meet again. My prayers ……

  101. You already know how very sorry I am. This post is beautiful. It’s so obvious how much you two meant to each other, and how much you loved each other. The obituary was probably the best I’ve ever read, and even though I never met your mom, her personality comes through so clearly. I even laughed in a few places. It sounds like the world was a better place for having her, and now Heaven is a better place for having her. Big, big hugs to you and your dad and your brother and all of your family. Let me know what we can do to help. I’m thinking of all of you.

  102. I’m so glad you had time to say goodbye. She was a beautiful person and I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. My deepest sympathies to you and your family on this loss

  103. Just from what you posted here it was clear that your mother was a beautiful woman, and I can hardly imagine what this loss is like. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  104. I am so sorry to hear about your mother. She was clearly a remarkable woman and I am so sorry for what happened. But it does sound like she lived a full and happy life. I am so happy she was able to attend your wedding and that you have so many special memories of her. Maybe you don’t have tomorrow, but you have a lot of special yesterdays.

  105. I’m am shocked and so saddened to hear about your mother. Although I’ve never met you, my heart is crying for you. The photo of you and your mother on your wedding day broke my heart.

  106. I am so sorry for your loss. A complete stranger you are to me, but not really as I have followed many of your blogs and feel you are a kindred spirit, both in your creativity and your attachment to your family. My mother died 14 months ago, suddenly, in her sleep – a perfect death really, but all too sudden, leaving the family reeling. I will spend a lifetime, as I’m sure will you, trying to put to words the uniqueness of her being. We need our mothers. I am praying for the healing of your heart as you go through you own personal journey.

  107. I don’t even know what to say, my heart broke in a million pieces reading this. I am truly sorry for your loss and the pain you must be going through. May she rest in eternal peace.

  108. I’m so sorry you didn’t have more time with your mom. On your journey of healing I hope you also find peace.

  109. I am so very sorry for your loss. Treasure your memories of the time you spent together. I lost my 22 year old son three years ago and I know that you will never get over this loss but you will learn to live with it. Time does help. Thank goodness for your new marriage and your partner to lean on. God bless.

  110. Her memory will be a blessing to you all of your life. I lost my own mother this year so I have a sense of the pain you are experiencing. Take care.

  111. The title of your blog post is beautiful. In fact, all the posts you’ve written about your mother are so peaceful and beautiful. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    (I’ve been reading your blog for years but I’m not sure if I’ve ever commented.)

  112. Renee, I’m so sorry to hear this. What a beautiful tribute to your precious mother. My sincere condolences to you and your family. I will lift you up in prayer.

    Michelle

  113. Wow, I haven’t peeped in on your blog in awhile, and when I do I get your wonderful news about your wedding and also the sad news of your mother. Congratulations on the marriage, but I am so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. Will keep your family lifted up in prayer.

  114. It is overwhelming to think of all the people who were touched in their lives by your mother. Reading her story I could not imagine one person being able to do such good work in such a short lifetime. Not many women have been given such a special lady to be their mom…she sounds like one in million. I will remember both of you in my prayers.

  115. I’m so, so sorry for your loss. She was clearly an amazing, wonderful, caring, and inspirational woman. The world is a darker place without her in it.

  116. Thank you for sharing those wonderful memories. So sorry for your loss, prayers your way.

  117. Much the same, I became besties with my Mom, too. She was not an easy person but we had such fun adventures! After she was suddenly taken, I constantly expected to see her around every corner and that feeling stayed a long time. BTW your Mom was only 4 years older than I so I am struck with anger at cancer, yet again. ~Love to you~

  118. So sorry for your loss, Renee. It is obvious you and your mother had a very special relationship. I am in awe of your grace and dignity at such a sad time in your life.

  119. I am so glad that you were able to have your mother at your wedding, and so very sorry for your loss. You are so fortunate to have had such a wonderful mother, and to have so many good memories. I hope you can feel your mother’s peace soon.

  120. My deepest condolences to you, your brothers, and your Dad. You all look so wonderful together in those photos you posted, and thank you for that amazing obituary.

  121. Dear Rene and family,

    May the many happy memories you all have of your mom provide you with comfort and peace…Sincerely, Edith in Norco, CA

  122. My condolences and many thoughts and prayers for you and your family right now. She seems like an amazing woman, and has obviously instilled much of her great life in you.

  123. Having lost my mother at a young age, I wish you comfort and peace in this difficult time of loss. You are not alone. You were so blessed to have your mother at your beautiful wedding. I hope you are comforted by such wonderful memories. You are in my prayers.

  124. Peace is a beautiful thing. My condolences to you and your family on this great loss. May there be Light and Love to all of you for the highest good.

  125. So sorry to read this sad news. I never see your posts without thinking of The Colonel and the affectionate ways you’ve honored her in your words and images. What a legacy she’s left in you!

    Best wishes to you and Jordan as you adjust to this loss and your new lives.

  126. You have my condolences. Mom’s can never be replaced. I am so glad you all were prepared (as well as anyone can be) and you were able to say your “I Love you”. Praying for you all.

  127. What a tremendous blessing to have had such a beautiful relationship with your Mother. My condolences to you and your family.

  128. My deepest condolences to you and your family. Wonderful mothers are hard to replace but I’m glad you at least have the memories and her legacy. Praying for you all.

  129. I am so sorry to hear about your mum Renee. I am glad that she was able to be at your wedding and you’ll have those photos and memories forever.

  130. I am so sorry for your loss. She was an extraordinary woman who raised an extraordinary daughter. Best wishes to you at this difficult time…

  131. I am so sorry for your loss. I know of what you speak when you say your heart is broken. I too have lost my Mom, and that is the only way you can describe it. From the pictures you have post in the past, you having a loving family. Lean on them and your Hubby. You are in my prayers.

  132. My heart breaks for you and your family. Your mother was an elegant woman and I always enjoyed reading about the relationship that the two of you shared. I’m so thankful that she was able to see you married before she passed.

  133. Renee, you’ve been through so much. She is at peace now. My mother also passed away with time to say goodbye in 1994. You two look so beautiful together at your wedding. I will miss her too.

  134. I’m so sad for your loss, but what a wonderful role model you had! My mom died the day after my 34th birthday and I still miss her. Being best friends with a parent isn’t something every one seems to get, either because there isn’t that understanding or because they don’t grow up enough to see the parent as a person apart from being their parent. That sort of friendship is a major gift and I’m grateful I had that the last 10 years with my mom. For me, losing her was the worst thing that happened and nothing since has had that much power to hurt, which is another gift in a strange way.

  135. Oh, I am so, so sorry to hear about your mother. I lost mine 2.5 years ago, and had a similar relationship with her as you did with yours. I know just how hard it must be for you right now! Take time, lots of time. And go easy on yourself. Praying and wishing for peace for you and your family. I still “talk” to her almost daily, hoping that she’s somewhere listening.

  136. I’m sorry to hear of your loss:/ I can’t even pretend to know what you are feeling but I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  137. I am so sorry for your loss. In all of the photos of your mom, she is radiating pride and love for her daughter. She sounded like an extraordinary woman and I’m grateful you shared the stories of your relationship. Please accept my sincere condolences.

  138. I am way behind in my blog reading so I only got this news today. I’m so sorry for your loss. I was only thinking last night about how I was missing my mother at this time of year. Four years and it still strikes me when I least expect it. Sending you love.

  139. I’ve read your blog a lot and remember lots of posts about your visits to your mom, and sewing for her. I read the obituary and she was a very interesting person and I’m sure she is greatly missed by friends and family. I wish for the best for you and your family as you deal with this loss.

  140. It’s a testimony to your writing/blogging skill that I feel like I know you and that I knew your mother. When my mother died, my uncle (her brother) said that when someone we love dies, we can use that love for other people. I wasn’t sure that I agreed with him at the time, but after 13 years, I know there is something to what he said. Sending heartfelt condolences.

  141. I was so saddened to read about the passing of your beloved mother. I’ve been silently following your blog for years and felt compelled to comment with my sympathies to you and your entire family. My grandfather passed away last week, the same day that I first saw this post. He was more like my father and was my rock, so I fully understand how heartbreaking it is. It’s so nice to know that you are not alone in this world and in addition to the friends and family you keep close by, you have so many readers in your corner.

  142. I am so very sorry to learn of your dear mother’s passing. I’ve always loved reading your posts about her, and now I’ve learned even more about her in the obituary. Such an amazing woman and mother! Wishing you peace.

    Karen in Paris

  143. God and peace be with you! Im so sorry for your loss. Moms are more precious than anything. She sounds like she was an awesome woman. I lost my mom 5 years ago and I miss her dearly. The pain unfortunately has not gotten any better. But I try and fill my time with the wonderful memories of friendship and sisterhood that I shared with my mom. I know our moms are at ease and rejoicing with Jesus. You are in my prayers.

  144. Sincere sympathy on your loss. You and your Mum were obviously very proud of one another. Hope you can rest in the good memories. Blessings to you and your family.

  145. I am sad for you and understand the hurt. My mother died in May 2012 and I was completely drained for months. Now, eighteen months later, the sense of detachment is much less, and the feeling of loss is no longer constant, but the sadness and need to see her are still very strong at unexpected moments. But life is still ahead and I know she would expect me to use it wisely, and I am sure you mother would wish the same for you. You have my sympathies

  146. I came across your blog, reading your review about buttonhole gauges! I kept reading and fell in love with your blog. Sorry about your loss. I lost my grandmother to pancreatic cancer in September. I know your pain. Some moments are good, others come out of no where. Continue to embrace the memories of your mother. An occasional cry is ok in my book! Be blessed!

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