Hell Hath No Fury

As I type this email, please know that I am breathing fire.

On Thursday, I took my last three Burda Magazines and newly gifted double issue of March 2010 Knip Mode to work to make photocopies of the line drawings. On my way in, a younger male colleague asked me for help on a project. After spending two hours fixing his problem I went on to my office.

This morning (Monday), I realized I didn’t have the magazines and sent him an email asking if I left them at his desk. His reply?

‘Yes… I threw them out. I wasn’t sure who’s they were…’

‘I hope you are kidding’

‘Nope. Sorry’

I have never wanted to cause physical violence to someone as badly as I do now. I’m not kidding you when I say I wanted to cry.

GLP News has March. $15. Fashionista Fabric had May. $15. Sewbaby is sold out. I’m still looking for April. April $24 purchased on ebay (thanks Kristine!) And I never even looked through the Knip Mode. By the time I’m done, I will have spent almost as much money replacing these three as my entire subscription costs.

Hell hath no fury like a Burda lost.


    • THANK YOU! I ordered the April. It’s all good now! Well, minus the Knip Mode. But, the Burdas were a HUGE deal for me. Thanks again!

  1. Ouch! I admire your restraint in not throwing something at him. Replace them & hand him the bill.

  2. We are continually learning lessons! One client of mine accidentally donated 2 pair of new chino jeans to St Vincent de Paul while cleaning our her closet…4 days later she went to the donation center and combed through 400 pair of jeans in the back room to find hers. I’m sorry to hear about this loss but maybe the trick is to make or buy a bright colored folder for your “precious” and then no one would ever think of dumping them again especially if the folder has your name on it and phone number.

    • Yes. Yes. You know, a few years ago I left my college diploma, a poster from the Melbourne Arts Festival and a poster of Brooklyn doors under my desk. I was taking them in to be framed. House cleaning threw them away. I did dig through the dumpster for them. No luck. But, I was able to get a copy of my diploma! And, I called Melbourne and they mailed a copy to my cousin’s mom who posted it back to me in the US.

      Oh, and one year I threw away an entire year’s worth of contacts. I never took them out of the brown paper bag and assumed it was trash.

  3. Wow, just…wow, what a jerk – and after you’d helped in too! Just because you don’t know who they belong to doesn’t mean you summarily toss them, you ask around to find their owners. This is beyond irresponsible and callous.

    You ABSOLUTELY should make him pay for all this – and pay the replacement cost, not the original. Did he offer at all to pay for them?

  4. What a jerk, not to recall who had been in his office, or at least wait a bit before throwing them out. I plan using the March issue of Knip Mode myself again, but let me know when there’s a pattern I can trace for you.

  5. I am speechless. That is awful!!! The only issue I have is May 2010 which you already replaced. He sounds pretty inconsiderate. Clearly they belonged to someone and he didnt even wait to see if someone claimed them. I mean in his office!!!

    • “People leave things in my office all the time” was his response.

      • Well, maybe you are nicer than I am, but the next time he asks for help, I would tell him I can’t afford it.

  6. OK, can I say what an amazing JackA you work with? I have a decent amount of traffic in my office and if there is something that doesn’t belong, I send out an email to people who’ve been there asking if they left it. It takes TWO minutes. I would absolutely bill him for replacement costs. Even if he doesn’t pay, he should know how much your generosity towards him “cost.”

    BTW. New to your blog and am enjoying it immensely.

  7. Let me echo how self-centered and stupid this person was. You helped him for hours, but he couldn’t shoot off an e-mail asking if the magazines were yours!I hope you let him know emphatically how much these meant to you, how expensive they were to replace, and that you expect him to pay.I don’t usually swear, but I believe I would in this situation.

  8. That is horrible. I can check over at Borders during my lunch to see if they still have an April copy. They usually sell for about $12.99. I know they have the May issue out.

    • TY Andrea! I’ve gone and ordered them all. I probably should have waited but I thought it would make me feel better.

  9. I am speechless myself – so if I left a jacket or bag in his office, he’d throw that out too? He has reached new levels of inconsiderate

    • Ah! Merci Beuacoup Karen! Someone below posted a way to order in English. These were actually gifted to me from a Dutch volunteer I work with who went to the Netherlands on Sabbatical.

  10. I have only two problems with his response: First, that he didn’t figure out that you had just been at his desk and must have left your magazines there. Second, Dude! Don’t you know the difference between the contraction for “who is” and the possessive form of “who” – “whose”!?! What an idiot. (Yeah, I’m a grammar nerd, but still.)

  11. I looked at the website again, and there was a link to order online (โ‚ฌ7.95) but shipping was to Netherlands only. I’d be happy to call to find out whether it can be shipped to the US or to me in France.

  12. yikes. You got em all now? In NZ they turn up about a month after everyone else seems to get them, so if any one out there has a burda emergency, it is possibly still on the stands way down here. I’m your girl! and why aren’t you asking him for the money hmmmm?

  13. Bill the SOB and if he doesn’t pay up, keep billing him. Add an interest penalty each time and make sure you include the cost of your time involved in replacing the issues. Don’t let him get away with such a selfish move. If a male colleague had left some sports magazines in his office, do you think he would have just tossed them? If he had tossed out something belonging to the boss, do you think he would have been so uncaring and blase on finding out what he’d done.

    DO. NOT. LET. HIM. GET. AWAY. WITH. IT! Otherwise you will be sending a message of tolerance for his stupidity and selfishness.


    • So, my big epiphany today was that this is totally indicative of his behaviour. It was his project that I’m helping with at the last minute because he’s kind of self centered. Yet, the moment he has to think about someone else — he doesn’t.

  14. How totally thoughtless of him. I hope he will pay for your replacements.

    I’m proud of you for not losing your head. It would have been so easy to “go fully harpy” on him. You’re a class act, Cidell!

  15. what a moron.
    Lets hope he never leaves his car keys in your office ๐Ÿ™‚
    Id ask him for $ too. He needs to know how much of a moron he is.
    seriously, duh.

    • Can you believe he once left his watch in my office? I kept it until it was claimed.

      • Next time he leaves something in your office make sure you change that sentence to “I kept it” Period. No “until it was claimed.” Isn’t there some kind of justifiable homicide rule? Can’t you slash his tires or something?

  16. What an IDIOT !

    Oh, I wish I’d known before you replaced the Burda’s – I’m sure I saw both April & May in my usual mag shop last week. You could’ve picked ’em up when you’re here next month for PR Weekend.

    • doh! I was too anxious to replace them. It just made me feel better to know they weren’t lost forever.

  17. Wow, it would indeed be a while before I stopped giving him the “evil eye”! What a huge mistake. It’s wonderful you’ve been so gracious about it!!! People like you will reap such graciousness in return:)

  18. What an oaf! And to not have the decency to be properly contrite! Doesn’t he understand we have sharp tools? I’m sure he’ll need your help again at some point. Just file your feelings away for future reference!

    • What made me so mad in subsequent emails is that he said he accidentally threw them away. No. I accidentally left them behind. He purposefully threw them away because he is inconsiderate.

  19. Dear Celie,

    Shit happens. But with the double issue of Knipmode I can help. I have this one – never used. Send me Your address and I mail it to You.


    • OH!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I felt like a total heel losing a gifted magazine before I could even crack it open!

      • Just short note to ask did You receive this double-Knipmode (March 2010)? I sent this one in May, 26 and guess for today this should be in. Let me know.
        I still have the coupon from post-office, if necessary I can ask why this takes so long.

        B.r. from the Netherlands,

    • Coming from an attorney, I think I may actually send him a bill. He has no clue.

  20. O…M…G..!!! I cannot believe it. What sort of jerk would do that?! I don’t even know how I would react. There are no words or at least there are no words that I can write in the blog comment :O)

    So sorry to hear you have a jerk of a coworker and that you lost your treasured sewing mags.

  21. Cidell, I sympathize! I would be happy to give you my March 2010 Burda Style free if you will pay for shipping. It is in perfect, brand-new condition with the patterns still stapled in the middle. I have enjoyed your blog so much for a long time now and would like to do this for you.

    Please email me and let me know if you are interested.


    • You are awesome Karen. That was the first one from GLP News I was able to replace today. Thank you!

  22. Oh wow-I think, unfortunately, that he is of the “Clueless Male” tribe and doesn’t see what the big deal is. In fact I can almost guarantee that it never even crossed what passes for his mind to shoot you a quick email and EFFING ASK IF THEY BELONGED TO YOU.

    However, if you had to spend two hours solving his problem for him, he hasn’t long to last in this job. Throw his lunch away from the office fridge a few times if you think it might hammer the point into his wooden head, though be careful with this because he’s obviously a mama’s boy and will be just tickled pink that someone is taking care of his messes for him once more.

    Don’t be available to help him any more, or if it’s part of your job to help him, make sure he is your very LAST priority.

    • Multiple women pointed out to me today that 1. They are sewing related. I make my clothes and everyone knows it. 2. One was in a foreign language. I work with non-native English speakers 3. He should have sent out an mail.

      You are totally correct in how long he’ll be around though. I had heard previously about his work ethic. And the fact that I was helping him on a project that he barely made headway with and was due that afternoon speaks volumes.

      He will remain now and forever at the bottom of my list.

      • I know it probably galls you to be forced into putting a colleague at arms length, because you don’t seem like the kind of person that would be comfortable in an environment like that. But to preserve your own sanity and to put responsibility for his work right back on his desk is the best thing. Just his actions toward you (I really don’t believe that he didn’t realize they were yours) point out that he’ll throw you under the bus to save his own hide.

  23. Oh Cidell! What an inconsiderate creep he is! Because you don’t seem to be the kind of person who is going to try to make him pay or get revenge ( I wouldn’t either– confrontation would only make me anxious, and HE STILL WOULD NOT CARE!)… take comfort in the fact that karma will get his a**!

  24. OOOhhhhh! Aaagh! That is so aggravating. I’m glad that you were able to replace your issues.

    re: future. He could have behaved so much better. Unless he offers to reimburse you (or somehow make amends)–is there anyway you can avoid helping him in the future? Or limit your time with him (“I can assist you in a few minutes–after I finish this other project.” “Let me put this down in my office and I can come back,” or “Can I call you back in a few minutes?” It may seem obvious, but after this incident, I don’t think that you should have to drop everything to help him (If he complains about that you can explain that he trashed your belongings because you weren’t able to put them away safely). I think that if he offers to make it up, you should give him copies of the receipts for the replacement costs.

    You have my sympathy.

  25. I would let him know exactly how much he owes me and/or where he can purchase new ones since he so carelessly tossed out the originals.

  26. Ouch! What an douchebag. Many sympathies – I think you have the magazines covered, but my newstand still has the May issue of BWOF, if you need one.

  27. How freakin’ unbelievable. Even if they were just copies of, I dunno, Family Circle, he should have kept them long enough to send an email out or ask people in the office if they’d misplaced a magazine. Sounds like there’s some passive-aggressive creepiness going on here.

    Looks like you’ve got leads on all your mags – thinking about leaving one of my (expensive, hard to get!) Knipmodes somewhere makes me wince.

  28. Oh that is just horrible behaviour.

    How about a notice stuck on the door/wall outside his office? “any objects left in this office by other employees will be binned” Since that is his blanket policy, how can he protest and at least your colleagues would know what a creep he is?!

    I agree, send him the replacement bill.


  29. “Oh, it was your juice carton? It didn’t have a name on it, so I threw it out/peed in it. Yes, I know you are the only one who drinks juice but people leave things in the kitchen all the time.”

    I was away on sick leave for 3 months and my temp (who is (still) a friend) at some point decided to clean out all the little notes I had in my drawer and only left what was relevant for her and threw the rest out. It’s okay that she takes out what it relevant for her but throw my stuff out? It took some minutes before I could even speak to her again, when she told me.

  30. Please confront him again and make him pay for the replacements. Too many times women avoid confrontation. And too many times inconsiderate people never get a mirror held up to them.

    Bind copies of the receipts together with a note stating what they are for and that you expect reimbursement for having to replace imported publications. The truth is he may just shrug it off and not pay but it’s important that it’s done and he know how much those magazines cost. People who lose or damage others’ things should acknowledge and repair the damage. I’ve had situations in the past where I wish I could go back and stand up for myself. Good luck!

  31. I hope you have at least -asked- the asshole to pay for the replacements? Pointing out that it’ll also take 15 hours of your time finding copies, and 3 weeks to get them back in the mail?
    And perhaps you should also just go to his office while he’s at lunch and throw out something that looks like he might need it..

  32. Next time he leaves something of value in your office, pawn it to offset your cost of replacing the magazines. There really aren’t words to describe how low and despicable this poor excuse for a human being is. (apologies for grammar)

  33. I was unable to comment after reading this post last night as I immediately required a stiff drink. I hope you are able to replace them all, especially the Knip Mode.

  34. I’m with paloverde, bill him with interest and billable hours (sp?) until he gets the hint.

    Also, if you need a more…creative, shall we say, form of revenge, I know people ๐Ÿ˜‰

  35. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Almost as bad as my hubby spilling water on one my Burdas. I can’t be as mad anymore. To have someone throw your things away. Makes me mad for you! So happy that you were able to get your Burdas back. If you still need help with the Knipmode, here’s a site where i get mine from. http://www.sewingpatterns.eu/en/index.php

    Hope this helps. Guard them with your life!!!!

  36. Oh I hear ya! Course people know I’m a sewist and if they even thought of throwing something like that of mine away, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be as nice as you!

  37. Please excuse the profanity, but he’s a schmuck, big time!
    He couldn’t be bothered to find out whose they were? Self centered is too nice a term for this guy. I applaud your restraint, but I would have killed him.

  38. My first thought was I agreed with Elaray’s sentiments, that you should go ahead and kill him. Anyone would understand that it was a justifiable homicide. But as my old law-enforcement boyfriend used to say, there are things worth that death. I’d find small ways to make his life a living hell . . . what a schmuck he is!!!

  39. It is difficult to imagine how anyone could be so thoughtless as your co-worker! :-/ I would go through all the ‘grief stages’ of anger, denial, and despair at the loss of precious sewing mags!

    If anything so dreadful happens to your Burda mag/s again, send out a blog SOS before you buy another expensive copy online – I would be very happy to send you mine, as they are not so hard to replace in Europe, and it always takes me months to get around to making something out of them ๐Ÿ˜‰

  40. Really, He didn’t have to throw them away. He could have put them aside or something. It didn’t even sound like he cared or even a bit remorseful. You went to help him on a project, what at a jerk! I hope the little pip squeek stumble upon these comment on a google search. Very insensitive. If he didn’t know he should have ask who does that. I am going to throw away a whole magazine cause I don’t know who it belongs too! ugh!

  41. This would make me soooo very furious! What would it have taken to send around an email asking who they belonged to.

    Sorry you didn’t post before you started replacing. I would have gladly sent you my copies straight from the Bundesrepublik. Only you’d have to read them in your first language….lol…

    So sorry this happened to you.

  42. He’s a… a… what everyone else already said! Is he one of those who have no “stuff” lying around his cubicle? I *might* understand if they had been there for 3 months, but 3 days?!?!?

    Please tell us he is a fresh-out-of-school kid, who seems to think he owns the world. And not some fool who can make your life miserable, because (at least according to corporate hierachy) he’s “above” you.

  43. A couple more thoughts – yes, throwing out his stuff, or making his life at work miserable might make you feel good, but, unfortunately it would most likely make you look like the bad person.

    And yes, present him with a bill for the replacements, preferably in front of his managers, or other witnesses who can watch your back.

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